Don't Drink The Punch

6 months

2009-05-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

Jamie Ewing
August 10th 1983 - November 5th 2008

i always thought of my life in two parts: life before i met Jamie, and life after. i never in a million years would have thought it would be book-ended with "life without jamie". 6 months held a lot of expectations for me, like it should be easier now, but those doctors and books are wrong, it still hurts like yesterday, and i miss him all the time. for people who didn't know us, the only way i can explain our relationship is "jamie was everything to me" or "jamie was my twin". so here is a visual history of our friendship.

we hadn't met yet, but i'm sure we would have been friends

jamie, 17 and me, 16. lauren brown took these photos the week we met, and were pretty inseparable since.

jamie 17 and me, 17. megan babylon took this candid photo with what may have been ill-intentions at the time but turned out to be one of my favorites. i used to look at it and think one day someone would look at this photo and say "look at how cool/weird/young mom and dad were". then recently i thought it would just be us looking at that photo on our 10 year friendship anniversary on april 20th, like we did on our fifth.

jamie 18 and me 17. the left was taken at gilman during our first summer of traveling, i think we were in milwaukee on the right.

jamie 18, and me 18 in asheville on the left. probably the same ages below. the picture on the right is from when i lived on johnson and bushwick. jamie is 20, and i'm 19.

jamie 21 and me 21. this was just before i got in the car to drive to california to go to school indefinitely. i stopped to get a bagel on bedford and meet up with jamie. he bought a disposable camera to take a picture of us. i didn't realize how sweet that was until now. joe porter said he had this photo framed in his room the whole time i was gone. i had one of him too. i also overheard him ask someone if they wanted to see a picture of "fat maggie" and pointed to it.

jamie 20 and me 20. getting jamie to take a photobooth with me was quite an achievement. he thought they were stupid.

jamie on his 22nd birthday in my kitchen in california, trying to cop a feel. i'm 21. we brought the tv out from my bedroom and made quesadilla's while watching dracula. i don't know when calling each other "drac" started. but well before this.

jamie 23, me 22. sheryl took this one, and it's one of my favorites. this was on bent tour after a show in san pedro, we fell asleep in a little garage shortly after this was taken.

jamie 24, me 23. on our way home from seeing "the happening" at court street. jamie heard some reggaeton and couldn't control himself. i'm just back up dancing.

jamie 24 and me 24. at joyce's. first mate, play mate, soul mate.

jamie 25 and me 24. i bought a new coat which inspired jamie to buy a similar coat. i was sitting in my room drawing when he asked me to take photos of him in his new coat on our roof for his new myspace account, and he was so completely floored when i said yes. it wasn't a big deal, he never asked for much. i took about 10 photos and he hated them all pretty much, then he took one of me and got frustrated because he thought it looked better than any of his and went back inside. that was jamie.

in 6 weeks there won't be a photo of us at 25 and 25. and 7 weeks after that there won't be a photo of us at 25 and 26. this is all i have. i'll never feel that feeling of content when he walks into a room and sits next to me again. my mother says that i have him in my heart, and doctors say that i have him in memory. but i want so much more.

i can't believe it's been 6 months since i've heard his voice. friends and family would say "you're so lucky to have jamie" and as we spent all tuesday afternoon watching bad movies on the couch with our butts pressed together under a blanket i'd think "i'm so lucky to have jamie". i can't believe i haven't eaten that chili he always made in 6 months. or started cooking with him at 10 in the morning while watching rachel ray. and i can't believe he'll never meet my dog, because he'd love him more than anyone. i had a lot of expectations for 6 months, like it might hurt less. but it's just as bad as yesterday, or worse, because now, i admit, it is not reversible and jamie is never coming back. now i selfishly mourn the loss of our life that no longer exists. the life i don't get to experience with my other half. does anyone else feel this way?

the easter talon

2009-05-04T22:11:00.000-07:00

Graceland TOO

2009-05-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

too much estate to liquidate

2009-03-04T11:46:00.000-08:00

nick, who took this photo of me and alex our senior year at pratt just sent me this

which was taken by santiago, the guy in the post below in the pink hat. i guess it's in some photo magazine. my how much i've changed! not really, just a few more tattoos, and some bleach. i still sleep on little kids sheets and prefer paper thin dirty white shirts to any of the nice vintage stuff in my closet.

(reminder..jamie drawings. i have a mock up ready but i don't want to start anything until i know everyone has scoured their belongings and i have the best of the best)

thinking spring

2009-03-03T13:41:00.000-08:00

or summer. i'm listing a million things on ebay! mostly vintage bathing suits and dresses and slips and warm weather stuff, keep checking for daily updates.

i also started an etsy shop which will probably be updated next monday with jewelry and prints like these:

cast cat paw brooch and lamb to the slaughter necklace

crude tooth charm

lucky silver cast racoon penis bone charm, as worn by callie below.

keep your eyes peeled

moppo's first snow!

2009-03-02T09:42:00.000-08:00

Brooklyn 2 times (terrified)

2009-02-27T22:44:00.000-08:00

in anticipation of her second weekend stay in brooklyn, charlotte, my 7 year old friend wrote those words on her bedroom wall. she then decorated MY bedroom walls with stickers of hannah montana. here are some highlights from her visit.

i think i don't ever want to see another movie again unless it's in 3D. i asked charlotte if her mom would like it and her reply was "she would have a heart attack"

after this picture was taken charlotte turned to me and said "i'm terrified", i have to admit, i was too. swan's are scary.

that remaining front tooth fell out a few hours later, needless to say, she was terrified.

moppo's first trip to the dog park! guess what, he was terrified!

please don't forget about my previous post. let's see those drawings, people.

a new book

2009-02-26T13:15:00.000-08:00

so, i'm putting together a little book of drawings and writings done by jamie ewing, and i want to have it finished in about 2 weeks. here are my questions: did jamie ever draw anything for you? did he give you one of his drawings? did you write a song together? did he ever leave you a really funny note? did he add something funny to one of your to-do lists? did you take one of his drawings and promise to scan it and email it to me but never did? yes yes and yes. if so please, do so!! my email address is

mgalano@pratt.edu

i'm also thinking about including photos of tattoos of jamie's drawings. so send that too, and forward to whoever you think might have something i could use.

thanks!
maggie

valentines tea party cancelled, part 2

2009-02-15T22:46:00.000-08:00

i decorated my house and planned on having people over for candied clementines and e.t. themed valentines...

but in the morning i felt like this guy had a hold of my brain

so i hung out with mop dog instead. mama can be seen running from him in the left hand corner

i also found this old photobooth today of me wearing jamie's glasses, which he never found as amusing as i did. taken at union pool while he was doing sound and i was being annoying.

and this mourning locket is finally mine! isn't it beautiful? the hand plucking the short chain symbolizes the hand of god, taking a life too soon. for someone as completely godless as me i couldn't help but fall for this. now my only problem is settling on what to put inside it. it's probably the most expensive thing i've ever bought myself, which gives me lots of incentive to sell more jewelry to balance things out. so, i spent all weekend making mold for bracelets, rings and charms. i should be casting them next week. check out my etsy store for updates!

RUMMAGE SALE

2009-01-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

THURSDAY JANUARY 30th 10am-5pm

come by my junk! search "rummage sale" on craigslist for the rest of my pictures

busy bee

2009-01-19T22:36:00.000-08:00

in an attempt to prepare for my massive move to 931 Grand Street, i've decided to yet again liquidate my estate. beginning with ebay, continuing with a rummage sale at my house next weekend, and ending with an etsy sale of my prints and jewelry.
here is a sneak peak at my ebay listings that stef modeled for!

to see the rest of my ebay auctions click Here

and if you were wondering, i'm not ready to even begin talking about how deeply i miss jamie, that lengthy post will be in the near future, as well as the projects i am working on in his honor. thanks for everyone's support!

look who's been keeping me busy

2009-01-19T22:33:00.000-08:00

mama and moppo! she hates him

five weeks

2008-10-26T22:32:00.000-07:00

what should i be?

2008-10-25T15:58:00.001-07:00

weasel words

2008-10-24T17:14:00.000-07:00

goodbye summer

2008-09-24T21:31:00.001-07:00

neurofibromatosis

2008-08-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

2008-07-16T18:51:00.001-07:00